Emotional Dumping Is Real—This Is How I Protect My Peace

07.15.2021 — Ashley

Emotional dumping can be so toxic. As humans, it’s normal for us to want to vent everything to our friends and family, but we’re also guilty of emotional dumping. Think about it. When was the last time you wanted to vent to someone and stopped and asked them if they had the mental capacity to receive your emotions properly? More often than not, that doesn’t even cross our minds. But I feel like I’ve been experiencing this a lot lately.

I’ve been on the receiving end of emotional dumping, specifically via text message, and it’s all so one-sided. We’ve all received paragraph, after paragraph, after paragraph on our phones, sometimes without a single second to get through the first message. It’s exhausting. I almost feel as though no one wants to hop on the phone and have a productive conversation anymore, especially when emotions or triggered thoughts are involved. I get it, it’s easy to write things down and spill your heart out, but we need to take the emotions of the other person into consideration too.

I recently had a friend get upset with me over something. Instead of giving me a call and talking through it, they decided to emotionally dump their feelings through texting and claimed they were ‘too busy’ to actually talk it out. Now, from my perspective, I didn’t understand where they were coming from, but I always try to listen first if someone’s feelings were hurt for some reason. The part that upsets me is the one-sided conversation of it all. Most of the time if our feelings are triggered it’s usually by something we need to work on about ourselves or that we’re not ready to face yet. By dumping our feelings in a message, or in any other way, the only thing you accomplish is making the other person feel bad for something that most likely has nothing to do with them.

I also feel like it shows a lack of wanting to work something out. If it’s so important to text someone how you feel, it should be just as important to work it out. And nothing gets worked out over text, voice notes, etc. Communication is key in every relationship and listening is just as important. I just wish it wasn’t so easy to tell someone how you feel then hide behind the words you texted. If you ever find yourself in a situation like this, don’t take it personally. One-sided friendships never work. If the friend really matters to you and you matter to them you will have a conversation and it always works out.