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How to Upgrade Your Delivery Room Experience—Straight From a Doula

11.13.2020 — Lori Bregman

My name is Lori Bregman, I’m a doula, life, wellness, and women’s empowerment coach. I am the author of The Mindful Mom to Be, Mamaste and in March 2021 I am so excited to launch The Doula Deck.  I’m also the co-founder of Seedlyfe Superfoods, superfood smoothie blends for all stages of womanhood, and founder of the 12-week Mindful Mom to Be virtual group coaching program (next group launching January 6th 2021).

I’ve been passionately working with pregnant women, families and new mothers for around 20 years now and believe that my work is my soul calling. I first started working with pregnant women in the ’90s  by doing prenatal massages, bodywork, healing and yoga. The mamas would confide in me about what they were going through, so I began integrating spiritual coaching into my work for emotional support. They also complained about pregnancy ailments, heartburn, back pain, nausea (to name a few) so I started researching different healing modalities to help and often came over with remedies to help ease their symptoms. I wanted to take everything that I learned and gear it towards pregnancy, including herbal healing, chakras, breathwork, healing properties of food, spiritual coaching, and more. When I was in massage school and took my prenatal training they spoke to us about becoming a doula. I began by supporting a few friends at their births, but as time when on I stepped into it and put together a whole pregnancy and birth coaching program called Rooted for Life, which eventually led to my book and virtual coaching program.

My father recently told me that my life and work remind him of the Steve Jobs quote, “You can’t connect the dots looking forwards; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect to your future.” I feel that the way that I came into the world, grew, healed, and re-rooted myself, schooling all lead me to this work. Let’s just say that my entry earth-side was far from perfect, but it was exactly what my spirit needed to set me up for my life path of working with moms to help them feel supported, thrive, be more mindful of how they take care of themselves, and how they choose to bring their children into this world. Had I not come into this world the way I did, I wouldn’t be doing the work I’m doing today.  

Why the Delivery Room Experience Matters

In all my years of working I have never seen the same woman, couple, family, child or birth. We all have a unique ways of being, strengths and ways doing things. What might work or be right for one person might not be the right thing for someone else. There is no right way to do birth. I do believe its important to educate yourself and learn about your choices, read books or listen to podcasts about inspiring birth stories and that inspire you and remind you how capable you are to do this. Take to to know about informed consent and then really sit with the options and feel it  all out to what authentically is right for you. You have a lot of options, from everything to birthing at home or hospital, birth center, home with a doctor, midwife, using a doula, free birthing, to go unmedicated or have pain relief and so on. Read about the pros and cons of it all.  Also watch taking on the  projections and the options of others that they don’t pull you away from what you feel is the right way for you to do your birth. Remember they aren’t you and just because that worked for them doesn’t mean it’s the right choice or way for you and your family.  

Had I not come into this world the way I did, I wouldn’t be doing the work I’m doing today.”

Customizing the Delivery Room for Mom and Baby

One of the sessions I do with my clients and in my classes is comfort measures for labor. We cover everything from breathwork, labor positions, visualizations, meditations and movement, massage and pressure points to the important of  creating a sacred space during labor and birth. We tend to be able to let go where we feel safe and more so in an environment that is calm and peaceful. This container holds the energy for the way you want to feel. The more tranquil the environment is your energy the more peaceful you will be.   

Here are my top 5 tips for creating sacred space in your birthing environment:

  1. Choose your birthing team wisely as their energy will be holding space for you. You should feel safe, good, supported by and calm around the people you allow in your birthing space. So be mindful of that when you are putting your team together. 
  2. Music and sound – I always suggest making a few playlists depending on your mood. Different genres like, calming music, meaningful songs, sounds that help you relax, meditations that help you calm, fun music if that’s the vibe you are going for. 
  3. Lighting – Dimmed or natural lighting is more calming. I prefer and bring with me flameless candles, mason jars with fairy lights and salt lamps. 
  4. Scents – I am a huge fan of aromatherapy in labor birth. You can bring a diffuser and fill the air with a scent you find pleasurable. I use Young Living and doTERRA oils I think they are the cleanest and purest. I like lemon for nausea. You can put a few drops on a washcloth or cotton ball and smell. Lavender to help relax, clary sage to bring on contractions, eucalyptus to open sinuses, orange, and ylang to help lift the spirit. I also use Olbas oil and massage the back with it. My clients love the smell as well. 
  5. Inspirational things: vision boards, affirmations, visuals, birth quotes hung all around help keep you focused and inspired. Crystals all carry different energy and can also be something to bring into the birthing space. Selenite is one of my favs it holds the energy of light. Black tourmaline or onyx helps protect you and your space. Rose quartz is for love, amethyst connects you to your intuition and peace, Citrine helps connect you to your strength, confidence and power, hematite helps ground the energy and fluorite helps to calm the nerves.  You can also bring photos of loved ones or deities that you want to have on the room with you. 

All of these things help calm, relax, and inspire and provide you with the birthing experience you deserve. I like to remind everyone that this one of, if not the, most beautiful thing they’ll ever experience, so they deserve the best of the best. I hope this inspires you to look forward to your delivery date even more, and congratulations to all of the moms to be.        

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Lori Bregman